When a child struggles with something that seems to come naturally to their peers, this can often negatively affect their confidence. Over my time as a children’s entertainer, one thing has been ultimately clear; a child’s confidence plays an integral part in shaping their ability to make friends, dance or sing like no one’s watching and allows them to not be afraid to ask questions or make mistakes.
I’ve spent many years hosting kids’ birthday parties, and encouraging children to dance and sing on microphones. Coming up onto the stage and singing into a microphone in front of all your friends, can be a daunting experience and although most kids do this without any issue, I noticed quickly the kids who didn’t feel confident enough to stand on stage. It was obvious to me that the kids who had the most fun, were the ones who were confident and felt most supported by their peers. I find that parents are willing to do what they can to support and boost their child’s confidence. Whether that is throwing a party for the entire classroom so that their child has friends to celebrate their birthday with or taking photos of them up on the microphones to showcase their natural performance ability. Parents are always delighted to experience their child on a stage, simply in their element, dancing around and having a joyous time with their friends.
I can testify that in my experience, as I was self-discovering who I was while at school, I spent a lot of my time trying to stay out of people’s way and did everything to go unnoticed. This not only affected my ability to learn but heavily impacted my self-worth as well. I struggled to keep up with my classmates at times but was too afraid to raise my hand to ask for help, out of fear of being perceived as “dumb” or “incompetent”. Only in the subjects that I naturally excelled at, did I feel my confidence starting to build and felt that I could ask questions and chime into classroom topics willingly.
In reflection, I’ve realised the importance of boosting a child’s confidence in any way we can. I understand that implementing the right tools and encouragement are so important to a child’s development and ability to learn and not be afraid of being humiliated for making mistakes. Some children who attend therapy are already confident, willing to put their hand up to ask for help in the classroom or have no concerns about speaking up and sharing their ideas. There are also some children we see in therapy, who could use a touch more confidence that could be built up over time.
Here are 3 things you can do now; to help build your child’s confidence so you can see them dance like no one is watching:
1. Take a step back.
· As parents, it’s easy to want to jump in when you see that your child is struggling. Whether it’s something small like struggling to open a chip packet or if it’s a bigger situation such as speaking up when someone pushes in front of them on the playground. Stepping back can teach your child that they can do ‘tricky’ things and that they will figure it out. After the fact, you can praise them for standing up for themselves or achieving the task independently.
2. Give specific praise
· Children (and adults!) love to hear when they have done well. Be really specific and give praise that sends a clear message to your child about what you were proud to see. Try to avoid leaving the praise open-ended such as ‘good job’, be specific, for example ‘I love how you weren’t given a pen, so you went up to your teacher to ask for one’ or ‘It was great to see you be a good friend when you helped your classmate find their bag’. Praise shows our children what we like seeing them do and gives them a desire to do that behaviour more often.
3. Celebrate mistakes
· Mistakes are a part of life and are 110% okay to make, it is what we do after we make a mistake that sets us up well. Take moments when your child feels down for making a mistake to cheer them on and encourage them to reflect and make change for next time. Teach your children that mistakes happen, and we can learn from them.
Remember to be kind and spread joy!
-Rebecca and Allanah
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